Wicked Manila

When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of
Celebrated heads of state or
Specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don’t make me laugh!
–  Popular, from Wicked

This you have to know. I love to sing, but just in front of the mirror, or with people close to me, karaoke style. I love listening to music, but selective to those with all the feels. This means classical, instrumentals or songs with melodies that tell stories and songs with lyrics that talk to you. I like live performances and my severe level of stage fright make me adore artists more than you can imagine.

So, residency over and a couple of extra time in my hands (…and laziness to work), I finally watched another musical. My last was still Cinderella, waaaaay long ago, but really just before I entered medical school.

Despite it’s fictional setting, the story  nudges the “young adult” in me.

Elphaba was the one who Defied Gravity.  She embraced her exceptionalities and chose the life that would make her free to be herself… even if that meant being ostracized.  She used her craft with good intentions  but it turns out a disaster and so she asks…

One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention:
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that’s all good deeds are
Maybe that’s the reason why

– No Good Deed, from the Wicked

Since No Good Deed goes Unpunished, maybe  having good intention with bad outcome is no different with a bad intention with bad result?

Is she Wicked or not? Think about it, there is something wicked in all of us. We do have evil thoughts sometimes, a few curse thrown here and there, subtle revenges, omissions, comissions…. yadadada…  Her chants were intended to help the Tin Man, The Lion and even… Fiyero  (Scarecrow), the love of her life.   Fiyero stood by her and they run away together but the others hated her and contributed (plus dumbfounded hearsays and speculations)  why the people of Oz tagged her as the Wicked Witch of the West.

One of that speculations was that the Witch will be melted by water (again a hearsay). She does not of course because, she was just green with “talent” (for witchcraft) but have the makings similar to others. It was this speculation that they used to help them get away… too much information?  The point is, I too speculate   (… and gossip) but this story showed the gravity of how it can destroy the person.  Imagine the difference it will make if only the people of Oz tried to understand the Green Witch?

Oh, but really. I want to talk about Galinda. Glinda, the Good Witch of the South. My heart breaks for her. She was the one who stayed. She is narcisstic. She longs for the love and the respect and adoration. She didn’t stop Madame Morrible to spread false stories about Elphaba, denied she is her friend and helped to stage her capture .  Doesn’t these count her to be Wicked as well?

On the other side, she loved Fiyero  (one way, obviously) who left her just after announcement of engagement  (who wouldn’t?). At that time, she was finally given a position, her dream – the label “Glinda, The Good”.  She knew then, she cannot have all. She was regarded by the people; she was being looked upon but her heart…. it got lost. She was Not That Girl.  (And we can deny it all we want but being The One is our heart’s true desire… right?)

For Good is a wonderful song of friendship…. it’s my favorite humhum song lately.



Lightness of Being


Sometimes, I just choose to be quiet because you will just get hurt.  You words “I am just here”,  “I am here to listen”, “Tell me all about it” doesn’t break my wall at all. You wouldn’t understand. I don’t even understand myself. I’m just lonely, that’s all.

Walang Forever

HIS END deserves a post. I have been a Grey’s Anatomy fan. Because I work in the hospital setting, I can relate to the series’ environment. However it’s the romantic fantasy that got me hooked of course. It entertains me by showing relationships are possible in our world (no matter how dark and twisty those are).  I can relate because I am a doctor (still in med school by the time it started!) desperate to make things work in my personal life.

I am hooked to Cristina and Meredith’s friendship but then Cristina has to go and so I lost 1/4 interest in the show. Meredith and Derek’s was my “relationship goal”. For some reason, I am affected to whatever happens to them on the show. They are good together. They are good for each other. And then, he was killed in the plot…

I was heartbroken. Walang forever, indeed.  Natawa na lang ako because it made me realize my bubble has burst already. I don’t know when it happened but I now accept my previous relationship isn’t something that will last forever. He was never really mine and he never wanted me to be his anyway. There were no promises and no talks about the future. Honestly, in my heart I hoped he will return and tell me to start over. It won’t happen.

Walang forever, but I decide to enjoy the moment  and enjoy whatever life gives me. I’m not getting any younger but I’m not too old to let go of fun. With a promising career and a well-loved child for me to raise, what more do I need? I am not money hungry. I just want a purposeful  and comfortable life. That part of me that longs for intimate love? I remain hopeful but not desperate. Wala ring forever lonely dapat, diba universe?

Fellowship Night 2015



(As of this moment, I am wondering what happened to the post I have written few days ago while we were staying at the hotel but for now…)

ON THE FIRST DAY of our post graduate course, we held the annual Fellowship Night. Our theme was lifted from the “Great Gatsby” – under tight budget . We wanted the party feel of frills, laces and pearls.  It was aimed to be a night filled with music and dancing.  The highlight of the night was towards the end of course when everyone got up on their toes and danced as we were led by our younger budding doctors (our junior interns).  It was fun, alcohol-free  dance and scream your hear out moment – and nobody cared because everybody had fun.