So there’s Alicia Keys and the tone of Nina Simone and this young and fresh, pure and honest musical artist!
Now, something to look forward to. I am planning to watch the musical at Resorts World come November when all the toxicities of residency is over. The little one will come along of course and if ever, this will be his first exposure to live theater!
I am looking for a classical piano version of Bato sa Buhangin by Ernani Cuenco but I found this heartwarming version by Ms. Cooky Chua, Mr. Ryan Cayabyab and Mr. Jay Durias
Sometimes, I just choose to be quiet because you will just get hurt. You words “I am just here”, “I am here to listen”, “Tell me all about it” doesn’t break my wall at all. You wouldn’t understand. I don’t even understand myself. I’m just lonely, that’s all.
Maybe, that’s it, I’m just a bit overly feeling right now. On most days, it won’t matter – what I feel – I mean. I just have to be functional, like normal people.
But today, I don’t want to be normal. I want to feel. I’m embracing my emptiness. I’m embracing my needs. I want silence. I want solitude. I want the world to stop even for a while….
My frustration is that everyday I try to be stronger, just to be broken once more with just a single blow.
On a Moonday, I write.
I was done with my last audit and in-service exam as a resident. My last audit was my worst ever but I am too embarrassed to even remember the details about it. What matters now is that it’s finally over and I can breathe a lot more easily because the juniors are already starting to take charge. We are still around but only to ensure that duties are done properly and to help in optimizing parent management if ever they have queries.
The in-service exam that I am talking about is taken by all pediatric residents in the country. It is a fairly new project of our society, hence, it doesn’t weight much on our “future”. Who knows one day, they might require you to pass it to be promoted to the upper level but for now it’s more for self check of the institution to know whether their training is at par with the others.
So the countdown begins. For my batchmates, that’s 2 weeks to go. Since I started late, it’s 2 months for us.
p.s. I’ve been “in the zone” lately – this whole research/writing thing stimulates my senses so much I’m back to my tendency to be overly introspective and create a wall around me. I dunno. I want silence. I NEED silence. Maybe because I am quietly noisy already. Overwhelmed. That’s it. I’m overwhelmed by my own thoughts. Uh-oh.